


Exploring Through The Ages

by nuftda



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Angst, F/F, arafef - Freeform, feferi as empress, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 19:33:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2080476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuftda/pseuds/nuftda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feferi had changed the Alternian Empire once she had become empress, building it on a solid foundation of saving lives instead of culling them. But what good was that when she couldn’t even save the life of her own matespirit?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exploring Through The Ages

“Come on Fef!” Aradia yelled back excitedly down the tunnel that they were both currently crammed into. Feferi sighed, she pitied Aradia but however much she tried she just could not fathom Aradia’s love of small dark caves, but she tolerated them. If Aradia liked them then surely they couldn’t be that bad.  
“I’m coming!” she yelled back, ducking lower to avoid her horns scraping on the rocky tunnel roof.

A little father down she found Aradia crouched and poking at something slimy and oddly fluorescent, she had been too absorbed in her latest discovery to notice her, so Feferi took this as her chance to surprise her matespirit. She jumped, tackling Aradia to the ground. Aradia yelped, and retaliated in full force, rolling so she had Feferi on her back. She frowned, it wasn’t usually this easy. Just then Feferi grinned and rolled, nocking Aradia’s limbs out from under her while she was distracted. She was now on the floor, with Feferi sitting on top of her.  
“What did you _fin_ d down here anglefish?” Fef asked, bending down to peck her on the cheek.

Aradia’s eyes immediately brightened “Well, im not sure what it is exactly yet but I know what its from. Im fairly sure it came from a dual-horned scale beast, it must’ve been down here several weeks at least.”

Aradia continued talking but Feferi tuned it out in favour of simply watching. She loved it when Aradia spoke about something she had a passionate for. The way her smile seemed bigger than her soul, and the way her eyes shone with such intelligence and interest. These were the moments when, to her, Aradia was the most beautiful being on Alternia.

Feferi kissed her again; she was too beautiful not to. Besides, as much as she would like to sit here watching Aradia talk all day they had exploring to do and her angelfish would never forgive her if she let her waste it talking.

She stood up and offered her hand to Aradia, who took it with a smile, and they continued down, deeper into the tunnel, to explore and discover, as Aradia so loved to do.

 

That was a long time ago, when they were both young and full of life. Feferi often cursed the biology of trolls, why should she get to live so long while her matespirit weakened every day before her very eyes? They both knew Aradia was nearing the end of her lifespan, and Aradia had accepted it, Feferi had not.

Feferi had changed the Alternian Empire once she had become empress, building it on a solid foundation of saving lives instead of culling them. But what good was that when she couldn’t even save the life of her own matespirit?

Though Aradia was old now, she was still adamant that she could do everything she used to do, and reckoned she could do it better, as she’d had all those years to practice. Feferi smiled fondly at the memories they shared. All those hours exploring various ruins laughing and loving together, soon those memories would be all she would have.

She was jolted out of her stupor by the voice of one of her advisors, whom she hadn’t been listening to. This council meeting was mandatory for her to attend, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. Her mind wandered back to Aradia, who was out exploring again. Feferi had pleaded with her not to go alone, told her she was worried, but Aradia was adamant that she’d be perfectly alright, and assured her that she’d come back, because she always did.

 

Only this time she didn’t.

 

After a few hours Feferi started to get agitated. After a day Feferi started to worry. After three days she led out a search party, but they found nothing. So she sent out more, went with them each time, and came back each time empty handed.

After months and months of searching Feferi was forced to give up, there was nowhere left to search, she’d scoured the entire planet, but there was no sign, no trace.

Though she had been forced to give up Feferi never lost hope completely, she knew she’d see Aradia again, even if it was only to say farewell.

 

Feferi stopped counting the days after the searches stopped; she just didn’t see the point in it. She kept up her duties as Empress, kept her people safe, but her heart was not in it. Her gaze drifted down to the bracelet she wore, Aradia had made it for her, out of the fishbones she had found on their various adventures. Feferi had treasured it since the moment Aradia had given it to her, and she decided then and there that she would not stop until she found her.

She went back to the place where Aradia had last been known to be, and spent hours there, inspecting every rock and crevice, but finding nothing. She sat back against the cave wall, intending to rest before she travelled back to her hive. That was the plan anyway, but it didn’t quite come to frutation since at that moment the cave wall buckled and she fell through into a smaller cave.

She got up and dusted herself off. It was only a short distance to fall so she was largely unharmed. She shook the rocks and dust out of her hair and looked around. There wasn’t much to look at, it smelled dank and stuffy, and she knew this had to be the place Aradia found. She had to be here, if she wasn't then Feferi was out of places to look.

It was dark down here, but that was no problem for her, light wasn’t required for a troll to be able to see (though a little bit of it did help).

She kept walking until she caught a glimpse of something less dark than everything else, as she neared it she recognized the familiar shapes of horns she had once caressed, the figure of a body she had loved-still loved. Feferi sat down next to her, and didn’t move for a long time. She had found her matespirit, after months of searching, but she was too late. Aradia was gone from this world, and Feferi had to believe she was off exploring the next one.

She knew Aradia had not feared death; in fact, she had been intrigued by it. To her it was just the beginning of another exploration, to Feferi it was the beginning of a lifetime of loneliness.

She got up and reached to pick Aradia’s body up, before reconsidering. This cave was exactly the sort of place Aradia had loved in life, and it would be fitting if it were the place where she rested now that she was dead.

Feferi left the cave, she opened her mouth to say something, but she just couldn’t bring herself too. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry, but if she had said good bye then that promise would’ve been broken.

 

Sometimes Feferi came back to visit that cave, and Aradia loved those days more than anything. Feferi came to mourn her death; Aradia came to celebrate her life. She knew Feferi couldn’t see her, but that didn’t stop her from trying to talk to her. Every time Feferi came she would talk her ears off about anything she could think of, but Feferi never heard her, nor would she.

Regardless, here they sat, Feferi toying with the fishbone bracelet while Aradia toyed with her hair. Feferi couldn’t feel her, of course, but it felt nice to do it anyway. She rested her head against Feferi’s and closed her eyes, enjoying one of the few uninterrupted moments she got to share with her matespirit. She only wished Feferi could enjoy it too.

It frustrated her to no end, but her frustration had nothing on the grief Feferi felt. Feferi never told anyone about The Tomb, as she had started to call it, she wanted it to remain a secret place, calm and peaceful, a place just for them.


End file.
